thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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