every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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