This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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