i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
