dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
