shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
