it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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