Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
