Just fell off a train. Bad.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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