The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
