are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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