dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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