It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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