Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
