apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
sex in a hospital.. check
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
