I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
