He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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