i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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