The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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