Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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