I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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