thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
