He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
