Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
