Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
