you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have already put on my inside pants.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
