Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
