I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
