Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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