I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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