His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
