just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The air was thick with penises
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
