You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
operation have a gay friend backfired
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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