JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
