who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
