You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
