I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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