and you said cock pushups were impossible
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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