you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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