I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
