Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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