i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
