know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
