would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
