Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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