he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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