i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Best friends brother. Beat that.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
