U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
