Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
These tits shall not be calmed
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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