Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
