I am in a vortex of obligation.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
